One of the most important thing I discovered is the importance of consistency. It is a hard lesson to learn, believe me, I speak from experience with this one, but I finally did see the reason behind this tremendous importance. And if you really think about it, it will make sense to you as well.
To be honest, for a very long time I had a hard time keeping my Dominance over my slave consistent, and from time to time still do just due to the fact that I work 10 hour days and am usually pretty beat by the time I get home. Then I finally get home after dealing with upset or just unreasonable customers all day long and are greeted by my slave and my kids first. After getting settled in, I need a little time to “recondition” myself to the change in dynamic, family values and such. Sometimes I even fall asleep over this because I am just THAT drained.
Our home life is not JUST based on D/s, it’s a careful walk on the edge between D/s and “vanilla” family life. Having kids in the midst of this is not an easy task to say the least. We try to keep it as much D/s as possible, without the kids or the family really knowing. It’s all about the subtle hints, carefully set rules, annotations and gestures. Again, keep in mind that my way by no means will work for everyone else, but does work for our dynamic.
Consistency is much more important to the slave as it is to the Master, or maybe most Masters. The reason why, you ask? Well. As a Master you set up a set of rules that you expect your slave or submissive to follow. Your slave or submissive does follow the rules to please you in most cases, and gets her needs met simply by doing so. As the Master you NEED to make sure that the rues are followed, because if you don’t and let this or the other situation slide, your slave will start wondering why the rules are there and why they are important. Maybe they are not important to you, the Master? And if that is the case, WHEN do the rules need to be followed and when not? You will find your slave lost between her “submissive and her vanilla life”. NOT a situation you should want to experience for either one of you. We all know that is in most instances not the case and the rules you set up are important to you one way or the other, otherwise you should not have them, but your slave NEEDS you to follow through, even if it means a punishment. And when you DO punish, make sure the punishment fits the crime. You don’t want to “overcompensate”, and atabove all else, you NEED to make sure to stay in control. Not only of the situation or your slave, but most importantly of YOURSELF. you cannot start “freaking out” and start yelling. THAT would be the exact wrong thing to do. For example, one of my slave’s daily tasks is to make sure that my coffee is made at night, so I have a coffee waiting for me when I get up at 4:30 in the morning. She forgot to do this 1 and only this 1 time. Now she is trying to lose some minor weight, and we set a rule that she can only have 3 cans of soda a day, as that was one way to cut down on calories quickly. She has a hard time sticking to it, but she does really well. After she forgot my coffee, I told her that as a punishment, she is to have only 1 can per day, until she can prove to me that she learned her lesson. That way she forgot my drink, and as a result she will not have her favorite drink, or at least not as much. Which I can imagine must be VERY hard. And guess what, she is doing great with it so far. That also will help her in her goal to lose some pounds as a welcome side-effect. This di work for me and luna very well.
luna also has a much more amazing blog that I will ever have, as she is much more of a writer than I am. I strongly suggest following her blog as well, as she will try to explain things from the submissive point of view, and that is extremely helpful for at least me as a Dominant. You can find her blog here: http://slavesperspective.wordpress.com/
For now I wush you a great night, until the next time, and have fun